Getting Passed

Last night I made a run to my nearest grocery store. Right in front of that grocery store is a pretty ordinary children's park. What is not ordinary about it is that the slides and jungle-gym and seesaws are surrounded by adult workout equipment - ellipticals and stationary bikes. "What a great idea." I thought to myself, "Instead of just sitting on a bench, bored out of their minds, the parents can get a quick workout in while watching the kids play."

I walk home from the grocery store on a sidewalk made out of that rubbery track material, which is exponentially better for your knees if you run on those streets like I do. I walk past my bus stop and admire the digital display that gives real-time updates telling you how long it will be until your bus arrives. Not sure if bus 73 goes the way you need? No biggie, just click on the display to see the route. Oh and don't worry about walking or cycling to be eco-friendly; these buses run on electricity which is magnetically pulled from wiring in the road when the bus passes over.

One of the most glaring differences that I've noticed between Korea and the US thus far has been the disparity in the level of infrastructure and "smart city design." It's unbelievable. Coming back from Costa Rica to the US, I felt like I had time-traveled forward 50 years. Now going from the US to Korea, I feel like I've gone another 50. The roads, the bridges, the airport, the trains, and, most of all, the little "smart" things like I mentioned from my trip to the grocery store, are all so much better than anything I've experienced in the US.

This is what we too could have if we had a government that actually functioned properly and spent money in the right places. We could have mother-effin buses that pull electricity from the road! But instead we want to give tax breaks to oil companies and maintain a military budget larger than the next 12 countries combined (and yes, conservative friends, I think we spend too much money on inefficient Medicare/Medicaid and Social Security programs as well). While our government is busy managing one artificial crisis after another, other countries are getting shit done. While our two political parties are fighting over the wheel, jerking the car left and right all over the road (or slamming on the brakes), other countries are speeding past us in their eco-friendly buses, staring out the window in disbelief.




If you enjoyed this and want to read more about my time in Korea, go ahead and enter your email address in the top right corner so that you don't have to keep an eye out for my Facebook links to the blog. For every person that subscribes, I will donate $5 to the Orphans, Kittens, Pandas, and Rainbows Foundation.*

*This foundation in no way helps orphans, kittens, pandas, or rainbows. All proceeds will be used to buy Austin good beer from the American grocery store.

You So Handsome!

Immediately after arriving in my new hometown of Gumi, two of my coteachers picked me up in a car and took me to my new school to meet the principal, my predecessor, and a few other teachers and students. We arrive and go to the principal's office first. I take off my shoes, walk in, shake his hand and sit down. Almost immediately, he tells me, through my translating coteacher, that I'm very handsome. I thank him, thinking that it's a little weird but just chalking it up to cultural differences, something being lost in translation, or just him being an open guy that likes to flatter people. He then goes on to give me a full face reading: my smile conveys that I'm a bright, optimistic person, my well-manicured hair tells him that I'm very disciplined, and my glasses tell him that I keep up with the latest trends. My first reaction: this is uncomfortable. My second reaction: he's pretty bad at this.

I then go upstairs to my new classroom to meet some of the students. It's a Tuesday so the fourth graders are there. Fourth graders who were so excited about having a new teacher that they decided to ambush him as soon as he walked in the door. I'm greeted with a chorus of "Hello!" "What's your name?" "Nice to meet you!" and "You so handsome!" There it is again! I think to myself, "Okay, there are only three possible explanations for this: I'm looking really good today, it's a cultural thing to tell people you've just met that they're handsome, or these fourth graders are drunk."

Turns out that it's a cultural thing (the kids only had a buzz). Koreans put a lot of emphasis on appearances. Telling a person that they're handsome doesn't seem to be so much of a comment on their attractiveness as it is an approval that they've passed the initial appearances test. They're saying, "You're not fat, you don't have a neckbeard, you don't smell funny, and you're not wearing jorts. You seem like a decent human being and we can now proceed to the next step of talking and possibly becoming friends." I think that a lot of it comes down to the Korean people's focus on efficiency. They have very little free time and they're not interested in wasting it on a person who might not be worth it. Harsh, but understandable.

I'm tempted to leave this post here on a not-necessarily-high-note-but-not-a-low-note-either; however, it would be wrong and deceptive of me to only mention positive and neutral aspects of the culture while leaving out, what I perceive to be, the negative ones. The truth is, unfortunately, this strong cultural emphasis on appearances has made South Korea the plastic surgery capital of the world. One in five women from Seoul have had plastic surgery and the number for women 18-30 is believed to be above 50%. The general tendency is towards a western appearance: round face, straight nose, eyes that open wider, and, most shockingly, double eyelids. Plastic surgery in South Korea has turned into a nuclear arms race. People get plastic surgery so that they'll be more confident. But, in doing so, they make others less confident, making them feel the need to get (more) plastic surgery. This vicious cycle continues to spin out of control. Hopefully, it will stop one day but it certainly doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon.



If you enjoyed this and want to read more about my time in Korea, go ahead and enter your email address in the top right corner so that you don't have to keep an eye out for my Facebook links to the blog. For every person that subscribes, I will donate $5 to the Orphans, Kittens, Pandas, and Rainbows Foundation.*

*This foundation in no way helps orphans, kittens, pandas, or rainbows. All proceeds will be used to buy Austin good beer from the American grocery store.

Why I'm Continuing to Be a Pretentious D-bag Blogger

Hey friends, family members, and NSA agents!

Thanks for coming to check out my new blog about living, working, exploring, and existing in a constant state of social awkwardness in Korea. I really hope that you enjoy what I have to say over the course of the next year. I will do my best to strike just the right balance of thoughtfulness and lightheartedness to keep all of you coming back.

For the sake of tradition, I'm going to open this blog the same way that I opened my previous one, by explaining why I'm continuing to be a pretentious, d-bag blogger. When I started my blog about life in Costa Rica, I really planned on just doing it for my two years in Costa Rica and stopping. However, I discovered that I actually really enjoy writing and sharing it with others. As a person who sometimes finds it difficult to express certain things in person, a blog is a great medium for me to get my thoughts, observations, and emotions out. Plus, the people demanded a second blog and you got to give the people what they want! Except for when the people want stupid things, like dubstep. Then you should tell the people to go shave their neck beard and take off their beanie, it's the middle of September for crying out loud!

A quick note on the name and format of the blog. The name comes from the baseball expression, "a cup of coffee player," used to describe someone who was only in the major leagues long enough to have a cup of coffee before getting sent back down. And "keopi," for the two of you who didn't figure it out, is the Korean word/pronunciation for coffee. Only being in Korea for one year, I feel that I'm only going to be able to "have a cup of coffee" and just skim the surface of the culture but I'm going to do my best to delve as deeply into it as I can. I also feel that the name appropriately hints at Americanization in Korea, which I foresee as an important theme of this blog. As far as the format, I'm going to be taking personal experiences and using them as jumping off points to talk about something larger, be it Korean culture, Americanization (see, it's already back again), education, the meaning of life, or, as the TV show VICE eloquently puts it, "the absurdity of the modern condition."

Alright, orientation is over! Something that I've always done to set work ethic expectations in my classes is actually teach something following orientation. And as I teach, so I blog. So are you ready for the first story?! Deep breath, let's do it.

Confucianism at a Crosswalk

On my second day in my new hometown of Gumi (goo-me), I decided to go for a walk and explore as much of the city as I could. On my way back to the love-motel that the school put me up in for a week, I came to a crosswalk that had the "don't walk" red guy lit up. So I stopped along with the five others on my side of the street and six or seven on the other side of the street. After about 30 seconds of standing there, I realize that not a single car has passed. "Why are we all still standing here?" A full-minute passes and not a single car has passed nor is there a car within sight. Still we stand there. It's a tiny road too, literally 15 feet to the other side. I used to long jump that in high school. I want to just go so badly. But I can't. They'll all see me. They'll think that waegooks (Korean version of 'gringo') don't respect their laws. I'll bring shame to my culture. So I wait. The green guy finally lights up converting the socially-constructed canyon back into a crosswalk. I cross like a good citizen. No shame for me today.

For those of you not aware, Korean culture, like the rest of East Asia, is deeply rooted in Confucianism, which defines a very strict code of ethics about how a person is to behave as to maximize the collective good, even if it is at the sacrifice of the individual. I think that this experience at the crosswalk strongly highlights the difference between Korean and American culture. I guarantee that this scene would never have taken place in the US. Because Koreans are taught from a very young age to have respect for law, order, and personal sacrifice, they couldn't bring themselves to do something which might possibly harm the collective good, regardless of how much easier it would have made things for themselves personally.

Is this a good way for a society to be? I think it's too soon for me to render such a judgment. I will say, however, that it's no coincidence that Asia has the lowest crime rates and highest ranked education systems in the world and is emerging as the global economic center. So next time you think about jaywalking, I want you to think about the ramifications that act will have on your family, your culture, and your country's global competitiveness. And then go ahead and do it anyways. I mean, come on, it's pretty silly not to.




If you enjoyed this and want to read more about my time in Korea, go ahead and click on the subscribe button in the top right corner so that you don't have to keep an eye out for my Facebook links to it. For every person that subscribes, I will donate $5 to the Orphans, Kittens, Pandas, and Rainbows Foundation.*

*This foundation in no way helps orphans, kittens, pandas, or rainbows. All proceeds will be used to buy Austin good beer from the American grocery store.